I am sitting on the stairs trying to warm up a little bit. Even if walking around here you don´t see it, winter is coming in Morocco as well. 

Or maybe autumn in coming. I don´t know.

The days are getting much shorter now, sitting in the shadow is impossible without a scarf and a heavy sweater and drinking tea has never felt that good. 

I am thinking about what I want to do in my future, where I´ll want to live, how, if I´ll want to live in the countryside or not, if I´ll have a big dog or if I´ll hug a stuffed animal, if I´ll get another master or not.

I don´t know. It just feels so weird, so incredibly weird being already at this point in my life. I remember that when I turned 13 I thought “how cool, I already am 13!”. I don´t know why, but maybe I considered 13 as a turning point: I would grow up a little more, gain more independence and finally become a teenager.

I don´t know why I wanted to be a teenager so badly: teen years overall suck.  

It looks so incredibly far away that moment. I was talking to my grandma in her living-room and BUM! I suddenly realized that I was turning 13.

Now I realize that I just turned 24. I think. Wait. Yes, I turned 24 and that everything is flying so quickly. 

It looks like the past 5 years are still happening. I started university yesterday, not 5 years ago. I moved to France yesterday, not four years ago. I arrived at the railway station in Stuttgart yesterday, not one year ago.

Everything happened so quickly, that I didn´t have time to realize what I actually want to do with my life. What is my real passion? Do I want to follow my passion or to actually find a job related to what I studied at universality? I don´t know. I am floating in a limbo, swimming here and there without a destination.

So, meanwhile, I´ll just sit here on these wooden stairs and I´ll try to figure out if it´s warm enough to stay with the t shirt, or if I´ll just chill in my grey sweater. After all, this is a hard decision too. 

I sleep with no voice and wake with no name

4 thoughts on “Meanwhile I´ll just chill on these wooden stairs

  1. Hi Arianna! Don’t worry, 24 is too early to know what you want to do with the rest of your life… I don’t think people ever really know. Ever. For me, it’s less important to know if what I’m doing is right, and more important to be doing something that makes me happy and fulfilled. I’m learning so much about Morocco from your blog – I love Moroccan tea!


    1. Dear Felicia, thank you so much for the kind words! I totally share your thoughts, but I have to admit that society puts me under a looot of pressure when it comes to finding a job! Anddd… thank you for being so nice!!!!!!


  2. If it’s any help, I did pursue a career in what I studied (Accounting) and then couldn’t take it anymore after only 1.5 years of working. Despite the pressure to choose the ‘practical’ path in life, I’m living out of a backpack for a while as I do what I love most: travel. I’m 27 and still don’t know what to do in the future either! Regardless of age, I’m sure we’ll all figure it out 😉


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