I am sitting on the stairs trying to warm up a little bit. Even if walking around here you don´t see it, winter is coming in Morocco as well.
Or maybe autumn in coming. I don´t know.
The days are getting much shorter now, sitting in the shadow is impossible without a scarf and a heavy sweater and drinking tea has never felt that good.
I am thinking about what I want to do in my future, where I´ll want to live, how, if I´ll want to live in the countryside or not, if I´ll have a big dog or if I´ll hug a stuffed animal, if I´ll get another master or not.
I don´t know. It just feels so weird, so incredibly weird being already at this point in my life. I remember that when I turned 13 I thought “how cool, I already am 13!”. I don´t know why, but maybe I considered 13 as a turning point: I would grow up a little more, gain more independence and finally become a teenager.
I don´t know why I wanted to be a teenager so badly: teen years overall suck.
It looks so incredibly far away that moment. I was talking to my grandma in her living-room and BUM! I suddenly realized that I was turning 13.
Now I realize that I just turned 24. I think. Wait. Yes, I turned 24 and that everything is flying so quickly.
It looks like the past 5 years are still happening. I started university yesterday, not 5 years ago. I moved to France yesterday, not four years ago. I arrived at the railway station in Stuttgart yesterday, not one year ago.
Everything happened so quickly, that I didn´t have time to realize what I actually want to do with my life. What is my real passion? Do I want to follow my passion or to actually find a job related to what I studied at universality? I don´t know. I am floating in a limbo, swimming here and there without a destination.
So, meanwhile, I´ll just sit here on these wooden stairs and I´ll try to figure out if it´s warm enough to stay with the t shirt, or if I´ll just chill in my grey sweater. After all, this is a hard decision too.